Finally Out of the Car

I really, really wanted to see Buffalo. This was my first sighting!



God's creation. So beautiful.





After many, many adventures we finally made it to Chicago!

It has been such a blessing to see Jon and Sara and to spend quality time with them and even meet new people who are so inspired as well as junior highers seeking and growing and wrestling with this whole Jesus thing. What it means to live it out. Man. We all need that in different ways.

Mt. Rushmore was really really cool, but I wish that it had been bigger (like the size of the whole mountain--but there I go with my expectations again. Things almost never turn out the way we expect). It was still a really cool place to be, and I was bummed that we weren't able to go see the Crazy Horse national monument because it was kind of pricey. (If anyone wants the history of Crazy Horse, ask Malka. She is way better at history than I am.)

I am so happy to not be sleeping in my car anymore! That was (and still will be) a part of the journey and adventure, but oh man. I really am learning more about what discomfort is and I am even finding a newer connection and heart for the homeless and the poor who either live in their cars or on the street.

Prayer has been so good.

There have been so many struggles and things to face on this trip, and so many beautiful, life-giving things on this trip as well. God has shown himself to be in control.

So God, thank you for all the blessings and teachings and even hard times. Thank you for support and encouragement and comfort. You are everything good and perfect, and we recognize your power in every situation. May all that happens be for your glory.

And so it is...

Chicago!

We made it!!
I slept until noon today (Chicago time) and I feel so rested, spiritually and physically. I get to see emotional, pastoral fruit and make Shabbat dinner for our friends. I am sitting in a Starbucks and I feel so relieved. I just feel like we are where we are supposed to be. It's a good feeling.


Mt. Rushmore was a little smaller than I thought it would be. We couldn't see Crazy Horse and Custer because it was too expensive- but I remembered the whole story- go History!
After a really long day and 1/2 full of adventure, we made it to our friends, Sarah and Jon Hane. We had more phone calls of friends in need of serious prayer and the Hanes as well are going through a desperate situation.

The night before we got to our destination, we were in the middle of the worst storm I have ever experienced. It felt like Gd's wrath on the road. Then we had to fill the car with oil and met a drug dealer/coyote in Minn. Oy vey. We made it though, praise Gd!
The Hanes have blessed us, in just a day. They have opened their home, their mentors, their lives to us and I am so grateful. They have wisdom, and they have a good sense of humor. I just love them so much! I

So it is that Gd meets us in the lower and better moments of life.
I miss our people a lot. I miss having internet all the time. I miss the time when I didn't have bug bites all over my body. And I miss my bed.
But you know what, Gd is faithful and secure. And I know that I am home wherever I go because of the people I am with (Jamie and the Hanes and extended faith family) and I know that Gd is good.

-Malka

Thank you Charlotte

Charlotte gave Jamie and I two books to start reading on this trip:
Jamie- Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
Me- Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen

While Jamie was writing what is written below, I was finishing reading the first chapter. It is so good. It has taken me a while to get through just the first part: Nouwen writes richly and thoughtfully.

I have never before thought of "private" as a good thing. But Nouwen illustrates that while loneliness is dangerous when it is presented as a depressive and narcissistic attitude. It is solitude and mystery that should be encouraged in the Believing walk and taught by Jesus' life. He mentioned marraige, but I didn't really get that part. What touched me was that community is not defined by how much information we give to our friends and family. Rather, it is about what we don't give to them. There should still be a sense of ownership of our personal lives. Yes, sharing life is SUPER important, but so is solitude. Jesus was a brilliant example of this. The most personal things and teachings he gave were to His disciples, and even then, we don't know every single about our Gd-man and neither did His best friends. It is Jesus that we must offer all those secrets to.

I have such a hard time accepting this. I am overwhelmingly open with my life. Maybe, and as Jamie said earlier, this trip is to teach me about being "alone" with my "sister"- in the most sensitive and perfect way. I don't like to hide things. And this isn't about hiding things. It is about living in community with Gd and through that, sharing the commonalities, as well as differences with our faith family. This doesn't look like anything I know. So maybe instead of just talking and talking about my struggles, I should take it in my prayer life and know that He is above it and will guide me through them. Maybe this looks like, instead of defining myself as an open person, I should define myself as a sensitive person. Maybe I should keep my heart (the believing part) inside and my hands (the following part) out in the open. There are different purposes. And there are different roles.

Oy vey...I don't know if that makes any sense. I hope it does though. I hope I really believe it too.

I was inspired to write this poem about faith and community:

unknown beauty creates creative community,
forewarned are the young that age restricts maturity,
hesitation amidst services above Jesus is unworthy,
so prepare for the narrow road in perfection of this beauty

-Malka

Realizations

Old Faithful

Grandma in Vegas

I have realized that this trip isn't even mine. It is, but it totally isn't.

My heart hurts so bad right now in so many ways. Tragedy and sorrow and worry--yet intense beauty and conversation and trust. It is weird. I am learning that they can all be combined. Like in the darkest places there is still so much goodness that we don't even notice.

I mean, I have totally known that in my heart all along. But only recently have I been able to recognize it--truly recognize it. And put it to words.

And like how I totally burden myself when i should just be trusting God to take care of things--because I just can't do it.

There is just so much.


We have traveled through country that is so spectacular. There aren't even words for the feeling in my soul passing through Yellowstone and wide open fields and seeing sheep and knowing I'm eighteen and getting bit by mosquitoes and sleeping in the most uncomfortable positions and weeping and having cricks in my neck and talking about God in his entirety and praying and laughing and reading and hoping.


Life is so involved.


Reading Irresistible Revolution has been eye-opening and heart-changing. Sweet Charlotte I can't wait to dialogue with you about everything!


Thanks, God. For all the blessings. For the struggles. For the hope. For the sorrow. For truth and beauty and light and trust. Thank you for the realizations.

And so it is...

The Trees of the Field

We are a lot dirtier than we thought we would get.
There are less Starbucks than we thought there would be.
There are more Walmarts :( than we thought.
We have been hotter (Las Vegas) and colder (Yellowstone) than we thought we would be.

But we are laughing and praying just as much as we thought we would- which is so good.
We had quite an adventure in Salt Lake:
As Jamie was hearing over the phone that our friend's boyfriend died, a security gaurd came over to us to kick us out of our sleeping haven we had found. So we cried, and drove around the city, with no where to go. So we end up in IHOP. At 2 in the morning, who knew that the entire city was awake. This was the place to be, apparently. It was actually kind of weird. So we drove practically the whole night until we found a rest stop to sleep in.

We spent the next day in Yellowstone. Can I just say that it is phenomenal. It is so beautiful. It is so Gd-inhabited. It is just breathtaking. However, leaving the park during dark hours, with lightening every 40 seconds or so, was trying.


We made it to South Dakota- yay!

I have a ton of bug bites :( We've been taking a million pictures of the landscapes around us. I have felt so safe, emotionally and physically. Jamie is an amazing listener and we both have our wits about us- most of the time at least.

Our music has consisted of Tegan and Sara, Phil Wickham, The Shins, Jamie's playlists (I have compromised a lot, jk- well not really, but it is all good) an unhealthy amount of Sufjan Stevens and Partners in Rhyme.

I look forward to arriving to our friends and family in Illinois. But I suppose the journey is just as important! On this road- I am engulfed in love for the deer and sheep which we pass often. I am enveloped in mountains and trees. I can breathe easy. Amen, right!?

And so it is.

-Malka